This year, because of intense political turmoil in my province and continuous feminist readings, my political awareness grew some antlers.
In a political meeting, I bought a member card. That party was seducing me for few months now: the live speeches just had me. My journalism classes’ motto («always certify neutrality») spinning in my head, I was all feverish about that decisive citizenship label. I stopped the hamster on the wheel by striking that I could not always let the clutch on neutral if I wished to move forward.
Isn’t becoming an adult to imperil oneself with determining decisions?
The elections took place and deputies changed seats. Looking for employment (and mostly professional challenge), my lights turned on – why not working as an assistant to a deputy? I was already talking politics all day with my network – why not make a job of it?
I went to the highest politics-implied friend of mine to get a recommendation. Our member cards differed, but our values find common expression. He advised me to send my resume, but also to buy a new card: it was an open secret that any deputy would check my political allegiance to verify my loyalty. His party was more likely to hire than mine.
My desire for a great job overcame my fidelity to my first political love, and I opened my wallet.
No deputy called. My journalism motto came back to haunt me: «I told you to stay neutral. » I’m not clean anymore. My political presence on membership lists feel like a bad love tattoo, a divorce on civil registrar. What if an employer checks my political allegiance on registrars before the interview, to check if I get along with his enterprise culture? I know it would be illegal to reject me, but it might be nonetheless a reality.
Anytime I picture myself facing that question into an interview, I unsurprisingly see a man in the role of the employer. When unsure of a feminist theory, Helene Lee-Gosselin, a wonderful feminist leader, recommends picturing a man instead of a woman in the concerned situation. In a recruitment process, politicized men will be seen as active, determined, and for many enterprises, promising. Politicized men bring useful network, promote leader skills and are keys to professional opportunities.
However, politicized women seem dangerous.
They flirt with chaotic revolutions, they blaze their way through bitching and no one know when those selfish bitches will decide to stab you in the back for no good reason.
Like a Mad Men secretary, I feel I have to prove my perfect loyalty to an employer. «I’m faithful to you, employer, I’ll never have any wet dream about other political, professional, ideological ideas than yours. I embrace to my guts that my full realization will only be reached with your guidance; therefore, I can’t enjoy any other intellectual input than yours! »
What to think when a woman love to dance, but her boyfriend does not? Often, he calls over the lascivious aspect of it to forbid her to dance with other males. Any dance, any move and any context respect that dance is lascivious, and even if the woman does it innocently, she’s naively auditioning for cheat. I would deduct, in a professional context: «My dear, you can’t put politic aside: that will influence whatever you do… In order to trust you, I need you to stay close to me. If you dance with another man, if you listen to another leader than mine, you’re distrusting me!»
I feel restrained to deploy my passion because I want something that is mostly given by men: a job. And I feel that it’s no stranger to the fact I’m a woman.
Catholic Church is very influencial in Poland, and unlike in Quebec, young men are still numerous to enter positions. Priests-to-be students just happen to go by on the day of the shooting, and the photographer took the opportunity to integrate them in the pictures. Because I don’t have many pictures with men, I thought it was a fun illustration for this post.
Photography: Marcin Gorgolewski
Make-up and hair: Agniezska Korzeń